being that the car was out of commission and Y's being questionable on a 4 hour trekk, we almost did not make the show on tuesday.. my perseverence and Y's contacts brought us, his friend Muppet, and The Crow to the doorstep of a pool hall/ bar that hosts metal shows in the back woods surrounding the nations capitol. Headlining, Walls of Jerico, who we went to see, Bury Your Dead, Premonitions of War and Full Blown Chaos... Awesome show... perhaps because it was my first and Candace from Walls of Jerico freaked out in front of me... or that Bury Your Dead were phenomenal... the level of energy they raised, tangible... goose bumps raised the entire time I was in front of them... electric.. Bury Your Dead... Gifted with a nice shiny black BYD hoodie for the impending birthday... replacing the perfect circle hoodie for a while under my motorcycle jacket...

curled in the backseat for the ride home with Y... freezing, navigating backroads through northern virginia... letting the adrenaline and the music sagg me into his warmth... hands clasped, small touches... and then home for twin peaks and sleep...

sitting at the bar earlier, indulging in a couple pre-BYD Newcastles, Y asks should we make things official... official in the exclusive sense... dating, if you will... weird kind of to the point, but almost a side note conversation... like we didn't need to have it, but it needed to happen because of other people... still not sure if i'm really into him... silly boy i think having my guy friends around us throws him with not knowing where i stand...

got home about 4 am, dropping The Crow off at home, heading to my hidaway to watch Twin Peaks and then to sleep... waking to entwined snuggles, coffee and Twin Peaks....

off to work and then later, finishing season one, he decides a nightcap to stave off a headache would be in order... following him into the kitchen i sit listening, the words start to flow and as he continues to drink, he opens his vein to me... verbalizing barely shared secrets... figuring out where we stand, issues concerning other friends and how he feels about them... questions, doubts... confessions... little things that have made him smile, me asking him to stay on night in particular... 5 hours later, after finishing the last of a couple of bottle of vodka left from New Years... no sleep, hazy day spent like a 11 year old, giggling and being silly... with a completely open Y... it was an experience... we went to bed at 8 pm that night and slept 14 hours to wake and get up right before having to head for work... giving my key to Y in case he should want to get snowed in with me instead of solo at home, i head off to work praying my car holds out on me and does not take it upon itself to cut off and not cut back on... damn that. thankfully, getting off early and making it home with my car still running, i find Y, curled up with my Conquering China game and playlists rebuilt after changing over the library... warm and cozy and i was the only thing missing, he told me...

will be on vacation for the next week, the bday week at that... i refuse to work on my bday... so this is my week, it's nice that our ironing out of wrinkles coincides so nicely... will be able to enjoy a bit of none restrained time together... and catch up with some very patient friends...

off to conquer china and twin peaks...

dream.